Feeling real

Yesterday I got the e-mail from the race folks with my confirmation and bib number. Number 6967, if you're interested. It all seems very real now and I'm quite aware of just how few days there are until the race. In the confirmation letter there is all of the info you gave them when you signed up - name, age, address, etc. Included in that is an estimate of your finish time. When I think way back to January of this year (I think that's when I signed up) I recall having the idea that maybe, just maybe, I could take 10-15 minutes off my finish time from last year. Now that the training is almost over that idea seems laughable. This year's training has been so much harder than last year. Not physically. Physically it's been easier as I've managed to keep the stress fracture at bay (there is the occasional twinge in my foot that tells me it's probably still there but not so bad). I think the weather has been more cooperative this time around, too. What made this year harder was life - all the other things going on besides my training that made it impossible for me to devote the time, energy, focus to my running that I did last year. I routinely missed one of my weekly cross-training sessions because my schedule on Tuesdays simply didn't allow time for even a 30-40 minute workout. I often had to switch around which days I ran, which runs they were (long or short), and which days I took off. Any one of these things isn't huge but when you put 3-4 months of these little things together it adds up to me not feeling as prepared, as strong, as confident about my abilities as last year. So here I am, 10 days away from the race, running less and less each day as I taper, and all I can think about is how I should go run an extra few miles here or add a workout in there. Of course, it doesn't work that way. You can't make up for a run you missed 6 weeks ago by doing one now on what's supposed to be a rest day. No, I'll stick to the schedule but I'm not happy about it. At least the weather looks like it will be better than last year.